If your teen sends or receives nudes

Discovering that your teen has sent or received a nude or sexual image is upsetting. It's also more common than many parents think. How you respond matters a lot, both for limiting the harm and for keeping your teen talking to you.

First, stay calm

Your teen may feel ashamed, scared or defensive. Start with:

"I'm glad I know. I'm not going to freak out. Let's work out what to do together."

Avoid shouting, shaming or immediately taking the phone. You need information, and your teen needs to feel safe telling you.

Find out what happened

• Did they send an image, receive one, or both?
• Who was it with? Someone they know, or someone they met online?
• Were they pressured, tricked or threatened?
• Has it been shared beyond the original person?

If someone is threatening them, follow the steps in sextortion: what to do straight away.

What the law says

Under Philippine law, including RA 11930 and RA 9775, sexual images of anyone under 18 are treated as child sexual abuse material. That includes images a teen takes of themselves. Creating, possessing or sharing such images is serious.

In practice, child protection authorities focus on protecting children, and a child who was pressured, tricked or exploited is treated as a victim. But it's important your teen understands that forwarding someone else's image is never okay and can cause serious harm and legal trouble.

Don't keep copies

Even as a parent trying to collect evidence, don't save, screenshot or forward the image. Note where it is (which app, which account) and describe it to the police or platform when you report.

If your teen sent an image

1. Ask the recipient to delete it, if it's someone your teen knows and it's safe to ask.
2. If it's been shared or posted, report it to the platform as non-consensual intimate content involving a minor.
3. Use Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) to help stop it spreading. See getting an intimate image removed.
4. If an adult was involved, or your teen was pressured, report to the CICC (1326), PNP or NBI.
5. If it's being shared around school, involve the school's child protection committee.

If your teen received an image

1. Tell them not to share it, and to delete it.
2. If it came from an adult, it's a crime. Report it.
3. If it came from a classmate and is being passed around, talk to the school.
4. Talk about how it felt to receive it. Unwanted images are a form of harassment.

Talking about pressure and consent

Many teens send images because they feel pressured: "everyone does it", "if you loved me you would". Talk about:

• How to say no, and that a good partner accepts no
• That images can be screenshotted and shared, even on "disappearing" apps. See disappearing messages.
• That they can always blame you: "My parents check my phone" is a useful excuse.

Afterwards

Keep checking in. Shame can linger for weeks. If your teen seems withdrawn or hopeless, get support: the NCMH crisis hotline 1553, a school guidance counsellor, or Bantay Bata 163.