Sextortion: what to do if your child is being threatened

Sextortion is when someone threatens to share a person's intimate images or videos unless they pay money, send more images, or do something else. It's a crime, and it increasingly targets teenagers, especially boys, through fake profiles on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and games.

If this is happening to your child right now, start with the steps below.

What to do right now

1. Stay calm and reassure your child. Say: "You're not in trouble. You did the right thing telling me. We'll handle this together." Children in sextortion cases can feel desperate; your calm support is the most important thing.
2. Don't pay. Paying rarely stops the threats; it often leads to more demands.
3. Don't send more images.
4. Stop responding to the person. Don't threaten them or negotiate.
5. Save evidence. Screenshot the profile, username, messages, payment requests and any account links. Note dates and times. Don't screenshot or save the intimate images themselves.
6. Don't delete your child's account yet. Deactivating may be okay, but deleting can destroy evidence. Block the person after saving evidence.
7. Report to the platform where contact happened (Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and so on), using the option for private images or child safety. Then report to the CICC hotline 1326, the PNP Anti-Cybercrime Group, the PNP Women and Children Protection Center or the NBI Cybercrime Division.
8. Help stop the images spreading. If your child was under 18 in the images, use Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org), a free service that creates a digital fingerprint of the image on your device, without uploading it, so participating platforms can detect and remove it. See getting an intimate image removed.

How sextortion usually happens

1. A friendly or attractive profile, often claiming to be a teen of the opposite sex, starts chatting.
2. Things move quickly to flirting and a request to exchange photos, sometimes sending a fake photo first.
3. Once the child sends an image, the tone changes instantly. The person shows they've collected the child's friends and family list.
4. Threats follow: pay money, often by e-wallet or gift card, or the image goes to everyone.

Organised criminal groups run many of these schemes, sending the same scripts to many children.

Support your child

Sextortion causes intense shame and fear. Tragically, some young people around the world have taken their own lives after being targeted. Your child needs to know:

• It's not their fault. They were deceived by a criminal.
• They're not alone. This has happened to many young people.
• It can be handled. Many threats are never carried out once the victim stops responding, and there are ways to remove images.
• You're not angry. Even if you're upset, save that for later and for the offender.

Watch your child closely for the next days and weeks. If they seem hopeless or talk about hurting themselves, call the NCMH crisis hotline 1553 or 911. Bantay Bata 163 also offers counselling.

Prevention

Talk to your teen before anything happens:

• Explain that sextortion exists and how it works.
• Tell them: "If anyone ever threatens you with a photo, come to me. I will help, not punish."
• Make sure social accounts are private and don't show their friends list publicly.
• Be wary of new followers who flirt quickly or ask to move to another app.

See also if your teen sends or receives nudes.