Teaching kids to be upstanders, not bystanders
Practical, safe ways children can help when they see cyberbullying, from private support messages to reporting.
- Most bullying happens in front of others; bystanders can change what happens next.
- Helping doesn't have to mean confronting the bully; private support matters a lot.
- Teach specific actions: don't share, support privately, report, tell an adult.
Cyberbullying usually happens in front of an audience: a group chat, a comment section, a shared post. Each person watching has a choice. Children who know what to do can stop bullying from spreading, and help the person targeted feel less alone.
Bystander or upstander
A bystander sees bullying and does nothing, or joins in with a laugh reaction. An upstander does something to help, even something small.
Many children want to help but don't know how, or are afraid of becoming the next target. Giving them specific, safe options makes a difference.
Safe ways to help
Don't add to it
- Don't like, laugh-react, share or forward hurtful posts.
- Don't screenshot to spread it further.
- Leave the chat if it's turning into a pile-on.
Support the person privately
A private message can mean a lot: "That wasn't okay. Are you alright?" Children who are bullied often say that one kind message helped them get through it.
Report it
Use the app's report feature. Reports are anonymous on most platforms.
Tell an adult
A parent, teacher, adviser or guidance counsellor. Make sure your child knows this isn't "snitching". It's helping.
Speak up, if it feels safe
Sometimes a simple "Not funny" or "Let's stop" in the chat is enough to change the mood. Only if your child feels safe doing it.
Practise with scenarios
Ask your child what they'd do:
- "Someone posts an edited photo of a classmate in the group chat and everyone's laughing."
- "Your friend wants you to help make a fake account of someone."
- "Someone in your game keeps insulting a younger player."
Talk through the options. Praise thoughtful answers.
Model it
Children watch how adults treat people online. If you share mocking memes about people, or pile on in comment sections, children learn that's normal. Show kindness, and stand up for others when it counts.
Recognise courage
When your child does stand up for someone, notice it. "That took courage. I'm proud of you." Being an upstander can be socially risky for a child, and they deserve recognition.
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