Signs your child is being cyberbullied
Children often don't tell parents about cyberbullying. The emotional, behavioural and device-related signs to watch for, and how to start the conversation.
- Many children don't tell, often because they fear losing their phone or making things worse.
- Watch for changes: upset after using the phone, avoiding school, withdrawing, trouble sleeping.
- Start with an open, calm question, and promise you won't take the phone just for telling you.
Many children who are cyberbullied don't tell their parents. They may feel ashamed, fear that you'll take their phone, worry that telling will make things worse, or think adults won't understand. Knowing the signs helps you notice anyway.
Emotional signs
- Upset, angry or anxious after using the phone or computer
- Seeming low, withdrawn or tearful without explanation
- Low self-esteem: "everyone hates me", "I'm ugly", "I have no friends"
- Irritability or outbursts
- Fear or nervousness when a message arrives
Behaviour around devices
- Suddenly stopping using the phone, or a particular app
- Or the opposite: checking the phone constantly and anxiously
- Hiding the screen or closing apps when you come near
- Deleting accounts
- Being secretive about what's happening online
School and social signs
- Not wanting to go to school, or asking to stay home "sick"
- Grades dropping
- Avoiding friends or group activities
- Not being invited to things anymore
- Changes in their friend group
Physical signs
- Trouble sleeping, or using the phone late at night
- Headaches or stomachaches, especially on school mornings
- Changes in eating
These signs can have many causes
The same signs can come from other worries, like school stress, problems at home, or friendship changes. They're a reason to check in, not a conclusion.
Starting the conversation
Choose a calm, private moment. Side by side often works better than face to face: in the car, while cooking, on a walk.
Try:
- "You've seemed down lately after being on your phone. Is anything going on online?"
- "I've heard a lot of kids deal with mean group chats. Has that ever happened to you or your friends?"
- "Whatever it is, I'm not going to take your phone away for telling me. I just want to help."
That last promise matters. Fear of losing their phone is the number one reason children don't tell.
If they don't want to talk
Don't force it. Let them know you're there: "Okay. If you ever want to talk, I'm here, and I won't overreact." Keep checking in gently. Some children find it easier to write it down or show you the messages.
If they do tell you
Follow the steps in your child is being cyberbullied: what to do. If your child seems hopeless or mentions self-harm, see cyberbullying and mental health and get help immediately.
eGuard sets up screen time, bedtime and app rules on your child's phone and checks that each one is really on. Free for one child.