Social media, body image and self-esteem
How social media can affect how children feel about themselves, the signs to watch for, and how to build healthier habits and resilience.
- Constant comparison with filtered, edited images can hurt self-esteem, especially in early adolescence.
- Help your child curate their feed: unfollow accounts that make them feel worse.
- Talk openly about filters, editing and the difference between online highlights and real life.
Social media can be a source of connection, creativity and support. It can also be a source of constant comparison. For many children and teens, especially during early adolescence, this affects how they feel about their bodies, their lives and themselves.
How it can affect self-esteem
- Comparison with peers' highlights, influencers and celebrities
- Filters and editing that set impossible beauty standards, including skin-whitening and slimming filters
- Likes and follower counts that feel like a measure of worth
- Diet, fitness and "glow-up" content recommended by algorithms
- Comments about appearance
- Fear of missing out when friends post events they weren't invited to
Signs to watch for
- Negative comments about their body or appearance
- Spending a long time editing photos, or deleting posts that don't get enough likes
- Changes in eating, extreme dieting or exercise
- Comparing themselves to others constantly
- Anxiety about posts, likes and comments
- Withdrawing from activities because of how they look
What helps
Curate the feed together
Ask your child to scroll through their feed and notice how each account makes them feel. Unfollow or mute those that leave them feeling worse. Follow accounts about hobbies, skills, humour and people who look like real people.
Talk about editing and filters
Show examples of before-and-after editing. Talk about how influencers are paid, how photos are posed and lit, and how filters change faces. Children who understand how images are made are less affected by them.
Separate worth from numbers
Praise effort, character and kindness, not looks. Talk about likes as an algorithm's numbers, not a measure of value. Some apps let users hide like counts.
Limit time on feed-based apps
Time on endless feeds, especially at night, tends to increase comparison. See phones and sleep.
Model it
Notice how you talk about your own body and others', especially in front of children. Comments like "tumaba ka" are common in Filipino families but can hurt more than adults realise.
When to get help
If your child shows signs of an eating disorder (restricting food, bingeing, purging, obsession with weight), persistent low mood, or self-harm, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional promptly. In a crisis, call the NCMH crisis hotline 1553. See also cyberbullying and mental health.
eGuard sets up screen time, bedtime and app rules on your child's phone and checks that each one is really on. Free for one child.