Grandparents, yayas and relatives: keeping screen rules consistent

In many Filipino homes, children spend their days with grandparents, a yaya, a tita or older cousins. These caregivers love the children deeply, and they may also hand over a phone to keep a toddler quiet, let a 10-year-old play Roblox all afternoon, or not know about online risks.

Why consistency matters

Children quickly learn which adult says yes. If screen rules are strict with parents but loose with lola, children will push harder with lola, and the rules lose meaning everywhere.

How to have the conversation

Be respectful

Grandparents raised children too, often successfully. Start with appreciation: "Thank you for taking such good care of the kids."

Explain why

Many caregivers aren't aware of online risks or screen time guidance. Share specific reasons:

• "The doctor says toddlers learn to talk best from people, not videos." See screens and toddlers.
• "There are people in games who try to talk to kids."
• "Phones at night are keeping her from sleeping."

Keep the rules few and simple

Three to five rules are enough. For example:

1. No phones or tablets at meals.
2. Screen time only after homework.
3. Total screen time: one hour on school days.
4. No new apps or games without asking Mama or Papa.
5. Phones charge in the kitchen at night.

Write them down

Post them on the fridge. It helps caregivers point to the rules when children argue. See family media plan.

Make it easier for caregivers

• Use device controls so the phone enforces limits, not lola. See parental controls in the Philippines.
• Suggest alternatives that keep children busy. See offline activities.
• Give them backup: "If they argue, tell them to call me."
• Ask about their challenges. What's hard? What would help?

Online safety for caregivers

Caregivers should also know:

• What to do if a child sees something upsetting online
• The grooming warning signs
• Not to share photos of the children publicly. See sharenting.
• Not to give children their own phones or passwords without checking with you
• About scams that target older adults, like voice-clone scams

When they disagree

Some caregivers may not agree with your rules. Focus on the few that matter most, often safety rules like no private chats with strangers, and be flexible on others. Children can handle some differences between homes, as long as the important rules are the same.