Discord and chat apps

Discord servers: what parents should know

How Discord servers work, the difference between well-run and risky servers, and how to look at your teen's servers together.

By the eGuard teamLast checked 2 min read
The short version
  • Servers range from small friend groups to huge public communities with their own rules and moderators.
  • Good servers have clear rules, active moderators and age-appropriate content.
  • Red flags include no rules, adult channels, pressure to DM, and secrecy.

A Discord server is a community space. It might be a group of five classmates, a club, a game community with thousands of members, or a creator's fan community. Each server has its own rules, moderators and culture.

Types of servers

  • Friend servers: small, invite-only spaces for a friend group
  • School or club servers: for classes, orgs or study groups
  • Game servers: official or fan-run communities for Roblox games, Minecraft servers, MLBB, Genshin and more
  • Creator servers: for fans of a YouTuber or streamer
  • Interest servers: anime, art, music, coding, K-pop and so on
  • Public discovery servers: large, open communities

What a good server looks like

  • Clear, visible rules, including about harassment and adult content
  • Active moderators who enforce the rules
  • Age-appropriate channels, with no adult or NSFW channels for teens
  • Verification for new members, to keep out spam and bots
  • A focus on the shared interest, not on private messaging

Red flags

  • No rules, or rules nobody enforces
  • Age-restricted or NSFW channels
  • Members encouraged to DM each other privately
  • Adults showing special interest in younger members
  • Content about self-harm, eating disorders, hate or violence
  • Pressure to keep the server secret from parents
  • Requests for personal information, photos or voice chats

Look together

Ask your teen to show you their servers. Not to read every message, but to understand the communities. Ask:

  • "What's this server for?"
  • "Who runs it? Are there moderators?"
  • "Have you ever seen anything weird here?"
  • "Do people from here DM you?"

Settings that help

  • Turn off DMs from server members (per server, in Privacy Settings).
  • Keep sensitive media filters on.
  • Leave servers that feel wrong.

See Discord Family Center and safety settings.

Harmful communities

Some Discord servers have been used by groups that target young people, encouraging self-harm, extreme content or exploitation. These groups often use secrecy, belonging and pressure. Warning signs include sudden secrecy, new online "friends" who demand loyalty, self-harm, or extreme content. If you see these, act quickly: save evidence, report to Discord and the CICC (1326), and get support for your child. See cyberbullying and mental health.

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